this has been the 4th consecutive night that i have dreamed about you.
although these dreams were pleasant, but I wished they were real.

羡慕

每当在街上遇到情侣

我就会像那些小时候一无所有的小孩子

羡慕的眼神偷望着他们俩

很羡慕。。。

羡慕他们俩，能握着手

羡慕他们俩，有说有笑

羡慕他们俩，有爱有昧

羡慕他们俩，有双方的温暖

羡慕他们俩，有双方的鼓励

羡慕他们俩，有背对背支持

羡慕他们俩，能互相分享生活上的酸甜苦辣

羡慕他们俩，一起过着日子

好羡慕。。。

希望我有这一天，这个机会

握着你的双手

和你有说有笑

有你的温暖

有你的鼓励

有你的支持

有你的体贴

很你一起分享生活上的甜

有你一生中的陪伴

初恋红豆冰

Watched this movie last night, alone...but that's not the point (i guess; would have been great if I could watch this rom-com,爱情片 with someone)...

Anyway, this movie pretty nice and managed to make me shed a few tears because I felt I can relate myself to the movie's main plot: Botak trying to confess his love to 打架鱼. 

You see, a few months back, I was a bit like Botak, all "budak budak kampung" in certain aspects of my life. I was very shy back then. Wasn't brave or 主动 either. And these "characteristics" became apparent when it comes to love. I have been admiring and habouring this love toward a gal for the past 13 months. I still can remember the very first day of the new June semester she stepped into my life . 

Initially I thought it was just a random feeling of (what's the word to describe this feeling?) for her. But as time moves on, I realized this was not just a random feeling, added together a sequence of pleasant and painful events later, I realized I have actually fallen in love with her. But as mentioned earlier, I was shy, wasn't brave and initiative either. Was it because of my upbringing? Was it because that I did not 帕托/paktor before? Was it because 我很少和女孩子来往? Maybe, maybe not. 

Deep down, I know that, if I love her, I have to tell her, I have to take the initiative, 勇敢的去追她. I certainty doesn't want to be like Botak, (unfortunately) not brave enough to confess his love to 打架鱼, and hence unable to find out how beautiful this relationship might have been. The movie's ending really made me weep. I certainly fear that day that 我们俩走各自的路程/ wonder how beautiful and complete our lives might have been if we are together. I really want to know and I really want to share my life with her. Yes I knew I have to tell her if I doesn't want to end up like Botak, yet it took me 2-3 months to gain my composure and actually started wooing her.

And the story goes on...

還記得紅豆冰的味道嗎？在赤道國家炎熱的下午，吃進口裡的紅豆冰，冰涼清甜，甚至把嘴巴凍得有點疼了，但是來不及再繼續感受，它卻已融化了